tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13291168161652726372023-11-16T04:20:51.091-08:00Movin' Mountainsone step of faith at a timeAlpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-91380068042849569182014-10-31T00:03:00.002-07:002015-03-20T23:12:43.506-07:00No Road MapFinally remembering how to put thoughts into words again, only to send them off into the void unknown. It has been far too long since I have written. So much has changed. <br />
<br />
My brother came home from China this past summer. Talk about stressful. I managed the situation immensely better than anyone predicted. We were able to talk and be in the same room. Still, trying to explain how I felt toward the situation and specifically him was too difficult as it was too soon. <br />
<br />
In August I ran away to a job in Rexburg. Granted I had been playing on returning to this job since April (before my brother had announced he was coming back home). But the sooner I could leave the better. School started up in September. For the first time I felt a clear direction, a clearing in front of me. My classes were fantastic. However my health still was giving me some trouble. I've been on Cymbalta since January. Little did anyone recognize or realize it was pulling me into a depression. <br />
<br />
During the months of August, my roommates and I found a relaxing paradise in the form of paddle boarding in a man made pond. Growing up I've been called a fish. At the age of eight my golden blonde hair turned a bright green from swimming so much. That was after the first two days of our pool being open. Needless to say this pond was exactly the refreshment I needed. Using the little strength saved up during the morning, I would paddle to the middle of the pond. Leaving the paddle on the board I would jump in, my skin breathing in the cool, invigorating water. As I floated the fresh water reprieved my nerves. For the slightest moment I was me again. The water enveloped not only me, but my mind and my senses. And then the thought would come, "If only I would just let myself sink to the bottom..." At which point I would become a little worried and get back on the paddle board. <br />
<br />
September came and brought new roommates in a new complex. I hadn't been living there for more than three hours when I had a panic attack. My dad talked me through it and I was able to calm down. Not a week later I had another panic attack, only this time I couldn't calm myself down. Instead my dearest friend arranged for me to receive a priesthood blessing. What a sacred and personal blessing from Heavenly Father. <br />
<br />
I thought I would be fine from that point on. Originally I had told my brother I would come to see him the weekend of General Conference. I forgot to tell him I had cancelled. He insisted I should come down as did his wife. There was a slight problem: I had no where to put my puppy. Yes I had gone certifiably crazy and bought myself a comfort animal. Thank goodness for brothers who understand and can tell you such facts. That weekend lead to me going off all medication cold turkey. This only lead to completely dizziness and vertigo. When I called to explain to the doctor that I needed to be able to find a way to get back to school and work in Idaho, I was told to take Benadryl and wait two weeks for it to wear off. Clearly my plans needed to change. <br />
<br />
Now November is just a breath away. I'm here at home. Not at all where I intended to be. All day I've been busy running errands for my mother and making gifts for her co-workers (in order to butter them up for my mother as they've been witches and not because it's Halloween). Finally catching my breath, I sat down to mindless let my mind run on Facebook, if not only to solidify to myself the shallowness of my present mind. There a wall of bricks in the form of an innocent pictures of missionary faces knocked me back to reality.<br />
<br />
Today I was to return home from my eighteen month mission. Another path never fully explored.<br />
<br />
That seems to be the routine these days. I embark with full determination to finish down one path only to find myself set back where I started, fresh with disappointment. Disappointment in myself and frustration with my body. What happened to the road map I had? <br />
<br />
On my knees I beg to see catch the smallest glimpse of this road map. If only to avoid the stinging pain of being forced to quit once again. It is in these times I have finally learned the difference in feeling hot tears streaming down my face in stark contrast to the cold trickle of tears shed for the same old sorrow. <br />
<br />
Yet somewhere in the back reaches of my mind, I distinctly hear Heavenly Father's messages for me: <br />
<br />
There will be wrong roads in our lives. Many in fact. "God expects us to pray, trust, and be believing and then not give up, panic, or "jump ship" when something doesn't seem to be going right."<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/yNQC-_srxH8/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/yNQC-_srxH8&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/yNQC-_srxH8&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-25151277434046707532014-06-08T00:40:00.002-07:002015-03-20T23:15:41.522-07:00The Guide Before MeLast time I wrote, I felt utter fear and despair. I finally took a moment to realize how scared I was. Going to Church the next morning kept my fears from the shinning through. Walking in a few minutes late, I quickly sat down next to a dear friend. After a few moments she leaned over and whispered, "That guy is sitting all by himself and I've never seen him before. I feel so bad." Looking over I quickly recognized him as one of my younger sisters friends who would be graduating high school this year. Feeling the need to help him feel welcome and more comfortable, I jumped up and moved over to sit with him. The poor boy had no idea sitting next to me would only leave him squirming.<br />
<br />
I had no intentions of going to church that morning to receive personal comfort, strength, and love from my Heavenly Father. It was fast and testimony meeting (meaning anyone who feels prompted to share their testimony and love of their Savior Jesus Christ can go up to the pulpit). One of the dear sister missionaries in the ward got up to bear her testimony. She stated with great conviction "There is no darkness so deep that the light of the Atonement cannot reach us."<br />
<br />
That's when the tears started streaming down my face and the boy I sat next to in an attempt to make feel more comfortable, started squirming. Sorry about that!<br />
<br />
But with all jest gone, I couldn't believe how those words came. They came in the direct metaphor I had used. Coming home that day, I decided to follow the light by placing aside my fear. It started with talking with my parents. We realized biofeedback was not for me. At least not at this time, not with this counselor. The second time I went to see her, I had a mini panic attack in the waiting room; panic I had never felt before. Leaving her office that day, I felt more despair, more confusion than I had ever left myself feel especially with this situation.<br />
<br />
We also talked about my brother coming home for the summer. I expressed the stress of the idea of him staying inside the house instead of his "apartment/dorm" in the garage. Right now at this point of my recovery and my life, I can't cope with the idea of trusting him fully. Anxiety hits when I think about him being home this summer. Then I realize I potentially will be working three jobs and leaving in August for another job and school. That doesn't leave extra time around to be nervous about.<br />
<br />
Here is what I've concluded:<br />
Guiding light should not be confusing. In fact God tells us He is not the author of confusion. Of course at times in our lives confusion will arise as we do not always have the eternal perspective of God. It is at those times we need to evaluate if we are focused on the light, or distracted by the vast darkness all around us.<br />
<br />
Yes there are still parts of my past that I haven't discovered how they may affect me in the future. But I have once again learned to place my trust in God. I have once again learned He will send people to us. I have once again learned He is ever aware of me and expresses His perfect love for me in ways I can see and acknowledge everyday.Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-17420722853774083272014-05-31T23:57:00.000-07:002014-05-31T23:57:07.836-07:00Climbing DownI find it hard to sleep these days. When I first got back from my mission, I could never fall asleep. Exhaustion would hit me, yet hours later, sleep still would not come. My dad's alarm would go off and I would realize it was 4:00am. Knowing he would be worried to still find me awake, I would fake asleep. My sister would call me at 11:00 am waking me. The day would proceed in a haze as I still felt unrested. <br />
<br /><br />
Finally as I progressed in counseling and in my day to day life, I began to sleep during the night instead of the early morning hours. Energy and motivation to accomplish tasks grew. Yet the pain in my body has not fully resolved. Now I am going back to do biofeedback therapy. During the same week this decision came about, I started my Mary Kay business, and applied for a part time data entry job. I got the job and my Mary Kay business has been a great help! The week I started doing biofeedback the news arrived that my brother would be coming home for the summer. <br />
<br /><br />
Now I find myself not sleeping once again. I feel utterly drained when Friday comes. Every night around 7:00 pm I want to crawl into bed but wait until midnight. The pain has increased once again. Life continues on. At least the ibuprofen is helping this time. <br />
<br /><br />
I've always known when I can turn into the wall, the side of the couch, the door of the car, and feeling these objects holding me there, I feel protected. Before I was so desperate for sleep, I downloaded multiple sleep meditation apps. That's when I realized I find someone talking to me a great comfort. Sleep comes more easily. With the two combined, sleep comes almost immediately. I didn't realize this until last night. I feel safe when there is a voice, a male voice, that sounds smooth, gentleman-like with something solid to lean into. Odd seeing as how my abuser was a strong male right? <br />
<br /><br />
Here's the thing: I don't remember hardly any of the abuse. I remember one time before it happened and two times right as it finished. Most would consider me lucky. <br />
<br /><br />
Yet there was a movie that came out about two years ago; The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Remember it? Most of my friends were SHOCKED as the ending revealed the boy had been molested by his aunt. I called it from the first moment the aunt was introduced. The movie focuses on a high school boy who used to have these blackouts. Just as he is about to get the girl, make the big move, she touches his thigh and he suddenly remembers: his aunt abused him. That was the first time I became afraid of remembering. <br />
<br /><br />
What happens if I remember? What happens if when I get married, I end up in panic attacks on my honeymoon? What happens when I un-rationally panic about my kids abusing each other? What happens if I sit too long with my own thoughts, my own quite, my own mind, my own emotions? I fear the breakdown would never end. <br />
<br /><br />
It's all black. There is no light at the end of tunnel, no silhouette against the darkness. To mean it means it must be very, very deep. It's the opposite of a Mt. Everest high. If I can't see the bottom, how am I supposed to ever see how to climb back to the top? Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-83119357196871113982014-05-30T02:17:00.001-07:002015-03-20T23:19:18.837-07:00Silent Mountain ResoundsI originally started this blog while serving my mission in Jacksonville, Florida.<br />
<br />
Today we move in a different direction.<br />
<br />
My values and my faith have not changed. There will be times when it might appear I go backwards in my testimony but I pray you will bear with me and give me patience as I try to continue up my present mountain.<br />
<br />
I don't really know where to begin or how to start. I know keeping a journal has provided such a relief for me. With this current topic, my main frustration is that no one ever talks about. We beat around the bush with it, insult the accused, briefly teach our children about it, but never really believe the statistics that come with it.<br />
<br />
SEXUAL ABUSE.<br />
<br />
I came home early from my mission because of the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. Thirteen years after it stopped, I finally told my parents. Thirteen years of believing lies and being the perfect sexual abuse victim.<br />
<br />
You have to understand, my abuser is my brother. Our family situation is very unique in that we still keep contact with my brother. He is a registered sex offender. He is a pathological liar. He is controlling. He is devious.<br />
<br />
He is still a child of God.<br />
<br />
Did it hurt when trying to confront him and all he talked about was how bad it was for him? Yes. Does it hurt knowing he still is throwing his life away? Yes. Did it hurt watching him continually ruin his relationships as I walked behind him trying to mend the pieces? Yes. Did it hurt to know he made me, an innocent little girl at heart, confess to my parents that I was a victim? More than anything in the world.<br />
<br />
Yet I do not label him as "The Sex Offender." He is my brother. I hope that one day he will turn around and make his life better. I want more than anything in the world for him to recognize he is of worth, he can change, and he can stop hurting those around him.<br />
<br />
I start this journey with these claims for you to understand one thing: Though there will be many emotions, many stages of recovery, yet the love for my brother, my hope for him, will not change.<br />
<br />
There is one more claim I would like to address. For the sake of my family, all comments and contact with any reader's will be nearly non-existent simply because you're opinions are not my purpose in this blog. They are not the focus of this blog. While I may find myself expressing rage against them at some point, that is mine to have, not yours.<br />
<br />
My purpose is to speak out. I will not be silent any longer. I will not be a victim any longer by allowing those hurt by abuse feel the need to be silent too. Our struggles today are no longer physical like the pioneers crossing the planes; they are mental, emotional, and spiritual. It is time we focused on how to overcome these silent mountains. It is time to cover new territory, a new Mt. Everest if you will. These are our days, our journey. Is it not time to recognize we are not alone in this fight?Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-7393053635224733642014-01-06T12:38:00.003-08:002014-01-06T12:40:59.350-08:00When the Mountain gets too Steep"Jesus wept."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVsL6Rc-vDK8WpHhWIqC4bLvKzV_idnTKyzj3FEw9OX1EfMOL5LUJoc9dr8hkSoObMrj7502Z1Pnhlp5JB0hMymgWbmpOrmLIEANbirHx8kN8N5P0l38S99MTH8Z5XAuRvYbWZDZ-rQXo/s1600/jesus-comforts-mary-martha-1104492-print.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVsL6Rc-vDK8WpHhWIqC4bLvKzV_idnTKyzj3FEw9OX1EfMOL5LUJoc9dr8hkSoObMrj7502Z1Pnhlp5JB0hMymgWbmpOrmLIEANbirHx8kN8N5P0l38S99MTH8Z5XAuRvYbWZDZ-rQXo/s1600/jesus-comforts-mary-martha-1104492-print.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Two little words so important, they make up their own verse. But why? I've often wondered why on earth people always thought those two words put together were the most powerful.<br />
<br />
I now know. Through my own challenges on my mission I have come to feel this in my life more than I can testify of.<br />
<br />
Here's the gist: three days before, Christ was told Lazarus was sick. He replied, "This
sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of
God might be gorified thereby."<br />
<br />
<div class="">
Then when He comes back, Lazarus has already passed. When He sees Mary, she's bawling her eyes out over the loss of her brother. She cries "<a class="bookmark-anchor dontHighlight" href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1329116816165272637" name="32"></a>Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not
died." </div>
<div class="">
<br /></div>
<div class="">
And "Jesus wept."</div>
<div class="">
<br /></div>
<div class="">
Christ knew that in just few a minutes He would be raising Lazarus. But He didn't brush Mary aside and quickly perform the miracle or scold her. He cried with her. That is what Christ does for us in our own trials. He weeps with us. He feels our pain and sits with us a moment. </div>
<div class="">
<br /></div>
<div class="">
Then He picks us up and carries us closer to our Heavenly Father. <br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-57913794837800503772013-12-31T11:42:00.000-08:002013-12-31T11:42:02.370-08:00How often I day I think, "Heavenly Father do you really want me to do it that way? Because I'm pretty sure I like it this way better." Throughout my life I feel I have had to learn the same lesson over and over again: Heavenly Father knows me better and has a better view of what's ahead for me. As I read Jacob 4 the other day I was reminded of this again. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I found myself down on my knees asking Heavenly Father for some guidance, starting with a resounding "why?" I opened my scriptures and came to <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/jacob/4.10?lang=eng">Jacob 4:10</a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Wherefore, brethren, see not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I can't figure out the reason this lesson seems to be so hard to grasp. Not only does our Heavenly Father knows what's best for us, but Christ's hands bear the markings. When Jesus Christ atoned for us, He felt exactly what we feel, went through what we go through in the way we go through it. Shouldn't He then be more than capable to counsel us? </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMg4On56LxrphY7EkH421LcFLUwivGPtTij21QQpkXknL8a3TQ52a-3x7v_wpQ35o8gfVrMvHwo66k1qkR724_dtI6RzVYDlPXvWPtbiUUz5ODrWcdmhYk6j72YL_njz4OGaBh_KKlZ0U/s1600/christus-lds-454706-print.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMg4On56LxrphY7EkH421LcFLUwivGPtTij21QQpkXknL8a3TQ52a-3x7v_wpQ35o8gfVrMvHwo66k1qkR724_dtI6RzVYDlPXvWPtbiUUz5ODrWcdmhYk6j72YL_njz4OGaBh_KKlZ0U/s200/christus-lds-454706-print.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This year, as we make our resolutions, why not ask Him <a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1978/04/what-would-the-savior-have-me-do?lang=eng">what He would have us do</a> to draw closer to Him?</div>
Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-58062483661503149232013-12-28T10:29:00.000-08:002013-12-28T10:29:15.106-08:00There Shall be No Darkness<div style="background-color: #f9f6ed; border: 0px; color: #2f393a; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
In Helaman 14 Samuel prophecies of the birth of Christ. It's the primary song we all sing "Said Samuel within 5 years...." Right? This is what he says:</div>
<div style="background-color: #f9f6ed; border: 0px; color: #2f393a; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
"3 And behold, this will I give unto you for a <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/hel/14?lang=eng#" rel="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/footnote?lang=eng&volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=hel&chapterUri=14&noteID=3a" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #486fae; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">sign</a> at the time of his coming;<b> for behold, there shall be great lights in heaven, insomuch that in the night before he cometh there shall be no darkness, </b>insomuch that it shall appear unto man as if it was day.</div>
<div style="background-color: #f9f6ed; border: 0px; color: #2f393a; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1329116816165272637" name="143207127493f293_4" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #486fae; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </a><span style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px 1px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4 </span>Therefore, there shall be one <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/hel/14?lang=eng#" rel="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/footnote?lang=eng&volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=hel&chapterUri=14&noteID=4a" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #486fae; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">day</a> and a night and a day, as if it were one day and there were no night; and this shall be unto you for a sign; for ye shall know of the rising of the sun and also of its setting; therefore they shall know of a surety that there shall be two days and a night; nevertheless the night shall not be darkened; and it shall be the night before he is <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/hel/14?lang=eng#" rel="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/footnote?lang=eng&volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=hel&chapterUri=14&noteID=4b" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #486fae; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">born</a>.</div>
<div style="background-color: #f9f6ed; border: 0px; color: #2f393a; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1329116816165272637" name="143207127493f293_5" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #486fae; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> </a><span style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px 1px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5 </span>And behold, there shall a new <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/hel/14?lang=eng#" rel="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/footnote?lang=eng&volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=hel&chapterUri=14&noteID=5a" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #486fae; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">star</a> arise, such an one as ye never have beheld; and this also shall be a sign unto you."</div>
<div style="background-color: #f9f6ed; border: 0px; color: #2f393a; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
So first, the best part to realize is that the night before the Light of the World came down, there was no darkness. That is what Christ does for us. He takes away the darkness from our lives on the condition that we let Him. He has lighted our life and offers to light the lives of those around, through us. That is the gift of Christ.</div>
<div style="background-color: #f9f6ed; border: 0px; color: #2f393a; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
But look at what Samuel says again. Why was there no night? Because 'so great were the lights in Heaven.' That was US! We were the ones up in Heaven lighting up the world to let them know Christ was going to be born. Our task down here is to do the same. WE are to light up the world and let them know that Christ has been born, He has redeemed us from sin and death, and He lives! That is the light we are to share. We are responsible to bring the light of Christ, our own light to others so that just as there was no night on earth, there will be no night in someone else's life. </div>
Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-1328359238412042012013-10-17T10:41:00.002-07:002013-10-17T10:41:32.700-07:00When Faced with a Mountain to Climb....Thank Adam and EveThere are many times in our lives when we face difficulties. There are days when we want to ask, "Why?" Or in my case, "REALLY?" <br />
<br />
I must have been having such a day last week. That's when I came to fully realize: If Adam and Eve had not fallen, if they had overcome the temptation of Satan, I wouldn't have those days! People wouldn't be rude. I wouldn't cut my bangs too short. I wouldn't get sick. There wouldn't be germs! Homework would have always been easy. I wouldn't be late to EVERYTHING. I would never stumble on my words. Subway would always make my sandwiches perfectly, and every morning I would have the best smoothie in the world! <br />
<br />
But then again, I wouldn't know what an act of kindness was. I wouldn't learn my lesson to always let my mom cut my hair. I wouldn't have stretched myself by taking 18 credits one semester. I wouldn't know what it was like to have a peaceful moment. I wouldn't know what happiness felt like. I wouldn't know what it was like to have a Savior. <br />
<br />
All the bad in life always seems to be blamed on Adam and Eve. Where the "tragic fall" started is also where everything awful started. But then again, all the good can be traced back to Adam and Eve also. The only reason we know what's good is because of the bad. There is a prophet in the scriptures, Lehi, who explains this principle better than I ever could to his son, <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2">Jacob</a>:<br />
<br />
"For it must needs be, that there is an <sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2#" id="footnote28" rel="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/footnote?lang=eng&volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=2&noteID=11a">opposition</a> in all things. If not so...righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad...And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God. And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act nor to be acted upon; wherefore, all things must have vanished away."<br />
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2.14">
<span class="verse"></span> </div>
<div uri="/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2.14">
I firmly believe that God knew this. Hence he revealed it to a prophet which we now have in scripture form. If Adam and Eve had not partaken of the fruit, then there would have been no need for a Savior or Redeemer, no need for Christ. But Christ was chosen before Adam and Eve fell right? Remember? There was a giant war in Heaven. God presented His plan of happiness, and Satan stood in opposition to God's plan. Christ was chosen as our Savior and Satan was cast out of Heaven. <br />
<br />
That means, God knew the fall would happen. In fact, He planned on it happening. It wasn't just an "accident" or a "whoops" moment. God knew it would happen and planned for it. It never thwarted God's plan. Our Heavenly Father told us His plan was for us to come down to earth, to leave His prescence, so that we could know joy from sorrow; happiness from pain; good from evil. He wanted it this way for our "profit and learning; for there is a God, and he hath <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2#" id="footnote34" rel="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/footnote?lang=eng&volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=2&noteID=14b">created</a> all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be <sup class="studyNoteMarker">c</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2#" id="footnote35" rel="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/footnote?lang=eng&volumeUri=bofm&bookUri=2-ne&chapterUri=2&noteID=14c">acted</a> upon."</div>
<br />
If Adam and Eve had remained in the Garden of Eden, they would not have progressed. There was hardly any opposition in the Garden of Eden. Therefore they never would have known what it was like to have someone disappoint you. But they never would have known what it was like to have someone serve you with love. This life is the time to learn what real happiness is. It is the time to make mistakes, see some heartaches and sorrows so that we may fully understand the successes, the love, the happiness, and the need for our Savior, Jesus Christ. Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-43687755367792514842013-09-27T13:04:00.002-07:002013-10-03T11:41:39.450-07:00When Faced with a Mountain to Move....AskOne of my homework assignments in high school required us to read an article from a woman who claimed she 'used to be Mormon,' or had 'grown up in the Mormon religion.' It didn't bother me that she was no longer a practicing Mormon. What bothered me was that she claimed the Mormon religion had taught her not to ask questions. There was NO room for questions or doubts. As I talk with complete strangers, with all different religious or non-religious backgrounds everyday, I can't believe how many have expressed, in one way or another, the belief that asking God "why?" is a sin. <br />
<br />
That is a lie. <br />
<br />
The entire <a href="http://mormon.org/beliefs/restoration">Restoration</a> of the Church of Jesus Christ began because a simple boy asked a simple question: "Which of all the sects was right?" Joseph Smith was 14 years old. He lived in New York during a time of great religious excitement. Many different sects of religions proclaimed many different ways for salvation. Each proclaimed they were right. But how was a 14 year old farm boy supposed to know which was correct? Joseph Smith turned to the scriptures. He studied the Bible thoroughly. In <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/eph/4.5?lang=eng">Ephesians</a>, he learned there must be "One Lord, one faith, one baptism". As he continued to study, he came across <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/james/1.5?lang=eng">James 1:5</a><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">If any of you <span style="color: #e69138;">LACK wisdom,</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">let him <span style="color: #e69138;">ASK of God,</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> that giveth to <span style="color: #e69138;">ALL men </span>liberally, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">and </span><span style="font-size: large;">upbraideth not; </span><span style="font-size: large;">and it </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e69138;">SHALL BE GIVEN HIM</span>.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
And so he did. He went to a grove of trees and prayed to God to know which of all the sects was right. That is when our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith.<br />
<br />
When Christ and His apostles were killed, there really was no one to turn for answers to questions. Eventually men started to rely on their own wisdom because somewhere along the line they forgot that prayer will provide personal revelation. That belief has been passed down to Saints since that time. <br />
<br />
In order for any of our questions to be answered, we must turn to our loving Heavenly Father. Just as growing up we each turned to our parents, or a parent figure, for answers, our Heavenly Father desires for us to turn to Him. As we ask our questions in prayer, we will find our testimonies of Christ grow. We will find our relationship with Heavenly Father grow stronger and closer.<br />
<br />
As a representative of Jesus Christ, the message I share everyday is simply to ask God for yourself. Ask Him where you stand with Him. Ask Him if His gospel is on the earth. Ask Him to be able to feel His love by recognizing the daily promptings of the Holy Ghost. But then be ready to act. Be ready to follow Christ. Have a sincere desire to know and I promise you, your loving Heavenly Father will tell you. Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-72440896572013075952013-09-11T10:27:00.001-07:002013-09-11T10:27:59.010-07:00When Face With a Mountain to Climb...Remember the Abrahamic Trial I'm pretty sure most of us have heard of the Abrahamic Covenant sometime in our lives. But what exactly is the Abrahamic Trial? Let me break it down. <br />
<br />
Abraham and Sarah get married. The Lord promises Abraham that his seed will be as numberless as the grains of sand, or the stars in the sky. This is part of the Abrahamic Covenant. (There's more to it, but for today, it's not our focus). Abraham trusts the Lord with everything he has. God shows <a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/abr?lang=eng">Abraham</a> so many great and marvelous revelations. The relationship Abraham has with God is one I wish to only dream about. Yet here is Abraham and Sarah, without any children. <br />
<br />
Finally Sarah gives birth to Isaac in her old age. In <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/gen/22?lang=eng">Genesis 22</a> is where I learned of the Abrahamic Trial. Here the Lord calls Abraham and he answers as he always does, "Behold, <span class="clarityWord">here</span> I <span class="clarityWord">am." The Lord tells him to take Isaac and offer him as a sacrifice unto God. </span><br />
<span class="clarityWord"></span><br />
<span class="clarityWord">Imagine this for a moment. Here, Abraham has done everything the Lord has ever asked of him. He simply wanted a son. God had promised him that his seed would be as numberless as the stars. It's a righteous desire. We're told having a family is a righteous desire. We're told that murdering someone is not. Now the only son that Abraham has, God wants as a sacrifice. Contradicting? I think so. Can you imagine? </span><br />
<span class="clarityWord"></span><br />
<span class="clarityWord">Abraham gets up the next morning and leaves to go where the Lord told him to go. THREE days later the Lord tells him which mountain to climb. I could not imagine living with the knowledge that soon I would be sacrificing my only son, let alone knowing it for three days. Yet there Abraham is, being as diligently obedient as possible. </span><br />
<span class="clarityWord"></span><br />
<span class="clarityWord">As they leave for the sacrifice, Isaac asks, 'Where's the lamb for the sacrifice?' Abraham responds, with complete faith and trust, "My son, God will provide himself a <a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/gen/22?lang=eng#" id="footnote9" rel="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/footnote?lang=eng&volumeUri=ot&bookUri=gen&chapterUri=22&noteID=8a">lamb</a> for a burnt offering." They prepare the altar and Isaac is strapped down to be sacrificed. It is not until "<a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/gen/22.11?lang=eng#10">Abraham</a> stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son" that God sends an angel to stop him. </span><br />
<br />
Great! Now you know the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac. Now what? Well, we're told to liken the scriptures unto ourselves. This particular story I believe applies to those moments of almost despair as we decide how much we really do trust our Heavenly Father. <br />
<br />
This story in the Old Testament describes exactly what each and everyone of us will be asked to do: to sacrifice our greatest desire, what matters most to us, in order to come closer to God. In essence, each of us will face our own Abrahamic Trial. Actually we will most likely face many Abrahamic Trials. Deciding to serve a mission was my first Abrahamic Trial. There were so many other desires I had; in fact, I felt they were greater than my desire to serve a mission. You can ask any of my roommates: the last semester before I came on a mission I was a complete wreck. Sorry roomies :) There was nothing wrong with what I wanted. I wanted an internship. I wanted a family. I wanted a degree. I wanted a job. I simply wanted to see Iron Man 3! (Just jokes). But the rest of it I really did want, and I didn't want to put it off for another 18 months. <br />
<br />
But as I prayed about and counseled with friends and family, I came to this simple conclusion: How much did I trust God? How much did I believe in His timing, in His plan? <br />
<br />
I have only been serving for four and half months, yet the principles and doctrines I have learned in these four months would have taken me years to learn outside of a mission. I have come to know my Heavenly Father in a way I only wished I could before. I have come to trust in the Savior's loving Atonement more and to watch it work in other's lives. Abrahamic Trials are frustrating and uncomfortable. They require us to go outside of our comfort zone where there may be no one to rely on. That's the point. As our own Abrahamic Trial arises and we face our own mountain to climb, we will come to know the one who is best to rely on: our Savior, Jesus Christ.Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1329116816165272637.post-13028815424972017702013-08-29T13:30:00.000-07:002013-08-30T08:22:08.498-07:00When Faced With a Mountain to Move....Pray Hello Everyone!<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's Sister Divis here. I am a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For 18 months I am serving the Lord clear across the country from my hometown. I talk to my family once a week through emails and letters. I left school, friends, a job, and more to represent my Savior and Redeemer. Why you ask? I'll do my best to explain so that you may know what to expect in the future from me, and hopefully have a desire to know what I know. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When I first came on my mission I wasn't quite sure what I needed to accomplish. I knew Christ had given everyone that follows Him the commission to <a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/28.19?lang=eng">"go....and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost."</a> Teaching all nations is quite the task. Yet I knew I was needed in the work; I just wasn't quite sure why. I'm sure I am not alone in wanting to know "why Heavenly Father? What do you want <i>me</i> to learn?" Without feeling I had received the full answer, I left. I felt as though I was taking a leap of faith, showing my trust in the Lord. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I kept praying. Making a decision to serve a mission does not come without much prayer. I had been praying for over a year about giving back 18 months of my life to the Lord. During that time I found my relationship with my Heavenly Father increase. This desire to become closer to the Lord grew beyond what I could have imagined. Yet, I also discovered growing that relationship seemed to become just that much harder. I had to work more at finding the answers to my prayers. I would search the scriptures more fervently. I spent more time pondering on my own. I talked more with others about their faith and their desire to follow Christ back to our Heavenly Father. Of course, I counseled with my parents. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After about a year of praying, I came to the conclusion to serve. But again, I wasn't sure why the Lord needed <i>me</i> specifically. With the age limit being lowered and therefore with so many Sisters deciding to serve, I found myself one of the "lucky" Sisters called as a trainer on my first day in the mission field. My companion and I were both brand new to the mission. With struggles of getting to know the area, what to do in the work, how to teach, working up the courage to talk to complete strangers, and not being able to counsel with my parents, my relationship with Heavenly Father became my number one source of comfort.<br />
<br />
One particular night my companion, Sister Dodd and I were trying to find a member's home. It was dark out with no street lights and raining. I don't know if anyone else has ever noticed, but the numbering system for houses out here seems to be completely different than out west. We pulled into a driveway to turn around right as the owner walked out onto his porch. Awkward. Still being new missionaries we pulled back out to find the house again. When we still couldn't find the house, we decided to turn around, try again and if we still had no success we would go back and talk to the man on the porch. Weird, I know but that was our plan. And so we did! The man was still out there. As we talked to him we learned his name was Elij, he hardly spoke any English, and he had a brother who was Mormon. We began to teach Elij for the next couple of weeks with a translator.<br />
<br />
After meeting him that first night and as we continued to teach him, the thought rang true in my mind and warmed my heart, "You are needed to answer the prayers of others." I found the answer to my prayer by being able to answer someone else's. I am here to answer the prayers of others who are I have learned and will hopefully continue to learn prayers are most often answered when we get off our knees and climb up the mountain, one faithful footstep at a time. </div>
Alpinisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01913022086736467209noreply@blogger.com0